Deli Licious

Al gore is calling for a 90% reduction in fossil fuel usage in the next 15 years. 90%! Has anyone ever thought what that really means? It is well known that technology will not be able to reduce our fossil fuel usage by 90% that quickly - so the only way to accomplish this goal is to cut back DRASTICALLY on our energy usage.

Think: 90% less car use. If you use your car 7 days a week now, you'd only be able to use it half a day a week then. How would you get around the other 6.5 days each week?

Imagine being able to burn lights just 10% as much as you do now. That would give you approximately 11 hours of light usage - A WEEK! That's 1.5 hours of light a day!

Do you really love the environment that much!? Don't get me wrong... I care for the environment a lot, but I can't stop thinking of how many people would die if our refrigerators could only be used 10% of the time. All that spoiled rotten food sending us to the hospital - but hospitals would have to shut down for long stretches each day to contribute their share of this 90% savings.

And all these urgent demands from a man who uses something like 2,000 times more fossil fuels in his own personal life than the average American like you and me! It's really hard to take him seriously after I look at his own personal energy usage. How can someone who takes private JETS to get around tell us we need to cut back 90% on our energy usage?

That looks pretty cool.... but that kind of thing will never work in this country as long as people like Ted Kennedy stand in the way. That simulator showed a town using windmills. Ted Kennedy said about windmills, "not in my backyard." So as long as you have people like that it'll never work.

Are these like the other low-wattage, energy-saver bulbs that have enough mercury in them to contaminate 6,000 gallons of water if you happen to break one? Are you required to spend $5,000 like one familiy in California was, to call out a HAZMAT team to clean up a broken one?

Yeah, I'd like to see those people - all the annoying self-important celebrities who use way more than their fair share of fossil fuels sent to an island where they wouldn't have to travel at all. And the one I'd like to see sent there first is none other than that gigantic fossil fuel consumer - AL GORE!

“Oh, like you’ve never tried to run a Hummer off the road!” -
Kathy, I would like to.

What is this? People complaining all the time about the price of oil, yet they don't have the sense to buy vehicles that are gas efficient.

With oil men running the country, it's no wonder the price of oil is sky rocketing. However, it is encouraging people to find more efficient ways to conserve oil.

Laurel

Seriously! Seeing them on the cover of the green issues makes me see red! There should be a planet or island where all annoying self-important celebrities are exiled... and Ryan Seacrest will be their only form of entertainment. Truly, hell on Earth.

Great list Kathie! Keep 'em coming! :)

Hilarious!!!
Great Script!!!