Top 10 Green Complaints about Hollywood

kbutler — Fri, 23 May 2008 00:00:00 -0400

Hollywood has long been a supporter of green issues. But what happens when the entertainment industry falls short of eco-expectations?

TOP TEN GREEN COMPLAINTS ABOUT HOLLYWOOD

10. When an agent buys a Prius and nobody notices.

9. That Eric Bana and Christian Bale have yet to star in a movie that brings together essential green concepts like “shirtless,” “well-oiled,” and “loin-cloth.”

8. Callous producers who forced a certain 30-something skin-conscious female television writer to picket in ozone-depleted sunlight for three months in a row.

7. Why pay $15 to see tidal waves and earthquakes destroy the planet when you can watch The Weather Channel for free?

6. Melting glaciers aren’t that interesting – unless they’re shot on a digital hand-held crashing through the streets of Manhattan!

5. In Baywatch, no one ever seemed to be actually watching the Bay.

4. No Academy Award for greenest celebrity.

3. Actresses whose body parts aren’t organic.

2. That you can’t get green props for Botoxing. After all, it is an organic plague.

1. A rather inconvenient lack of sex and violence in An Inconvenient Truth.

Top 10 Green Things to Do While Stuck in Traffic

kbutler — Tue, 06 May 2008 00:00:00 -0400

If you live anywhere in the country where your closest neighbors don’t moo, odds are you deal with traffic. So next time you’re stuck on the freeways contemplating suicide or a move to Alaska, remember these options to pass the time.

TOP 10 GREEN THINGS TO DO WHILE STUCK IN TRAFFIC

10. Walk up to the guy in front of you and begin an interesting, innovative lecture on the positives of recycling.

9. Lay on your horn and scream out the window “Your emissions are killing me!” See if it helps get things moving.

8. Ask the person driving the vegetable oil-powered Mercedes if the smell makes her crave French fries. Then offer her French fries.

7. Hide under the open car windows of smokers. When they toss their cigarette butts out the window, throw them back.

6. Plow into a Yukon and see if it’s true that they "react" like a tank.

5. Collect road kill for tonight’s dinner. After all, it’s recyclable.

4. Harness a team of trusty street rats to the car. Explain to curious passer-bys that you’re just taking sustainable living to an awesome new level.

3. Ask the person next to you if this is the line for cheap gas.

2. Walk around asking hybrid car owners just how silent is their silent running.

1. Turn the car off, get out and push. You’ll get there faster anyway.

eco humor

Top 10 Green Complaints about Hollywood

Top 10 Green Things to Do While Stuck in Traffic