Top 10 Signs You’re Not Running a Green Campaign

kbutler — Thu, 01 May 2008 00:00:00 -0400

In this workaday world, it’s hard to please all voters on all issues. And green candidates have their work cut out for them. The following is a tell-tale list of signs that might make green voters reconsider their options.

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU’RE NOT RUNNING A GREEN CAMPAIGN

10. Your slogan is: “Trees are lame.”

9. You’ve pledged a bigger, better, smokier Industrial Revolution for America.

8. Your only endorsement is from a former director of FEMA.

7. You say things like “We’re good. It’s not like there really is a Mother Earth.”

6. The only people who have heard of you live on Superfund sites.

5. You’ve made the Nature Conservancy very upset. And you don’t want to see the Nature Conservancy very upset.

4. You have to ask your spouse to stand beside you when 60 Minutes discovers a cache of whale oil, several endangered pandas, and billions of dollars from an oil company buried in your back yard.

3. In the debates, you ignored all questions with the words “save” “the” and “earth” in them.

2. Your campaign promises to show the positives of global warming. “After all, who really likes winter?”

1. Your plan for economic recovery makes people glow.

Want to learn more about Eco-Politics?

Check Out Obama’s Global Warming Plan

See What McCain Will Do About Climate Change

Hillary Clinton on the Environment

New Report: Doubts Grow About Global Warming

There’s More Than One Way to Hug a Tree

Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall… Who’s the Greenest President of Them All?