Bikes & Cars...

If you live anywhere in the country where your closest neighbors don’t moo, odds are you deal with traffic. So next time you’re stuck on the freeways contemplating suicide or a move to Alaska, remember these options to pass the time.

TOP 10 GREEN THINGS TO DO WHILE STUCK IN TRAFFIC

10. Walk up to the guy in front of you and begin an interesting, innovative lecture on the positives of recycling.

9. Lay on your horn and scream out the window “Your emissions are killing me!” See if it helps get things moving.

8. Ask the person driving the vegetable oil-powered Mercedes if the smell makes her crave French fries. Then offer her French fries.

7. Hide under the open car windows of smokers. When they toss their cigarette butts out the window, throw them back.

6. Plow into a Yukon and see if it’s true that they "react" like a tank.

5. Collect road kill for tonight’s dinner. After all, it’s recyclable.

4. Harness a team of trusty street rats to the car. Explain to curious passer-bys that you’re just taking sustainable living to an awesome new level.

3. Ask the person next to you if this is the line for cheap gas.

2. Walk around asking hybrid car owners just how silent is their silent running.

1. Turn the car off, get out and push. You’ll get there faster anyway.